Dear Personal Assistant,
I regret to inform you that you no longer have a job. It's not that I found someone else, or that I don't have a need for you anymore, your work is simply unsatisfactory.
The past 5 days I've come home from work and my house is not clean. There are dishes in the sink, clothes that need to be put away, and my bed is never made .I don't understand what you do at my house all day because I can never tell you're there. I'm starting to see why you disappear right before I get home now so I never have the chance to confront you.
I got on my phone today and only had 24 MBs of storage left. Did you not remember to delete all the random pictures off my phone that take up so much unnecessary space? What about all the apps I don't use anymore but downloaded because they were in the top 10 must have apps of 2014? I even checked my email and found 261 junk messages in my Inbox that you never sifted through. Did you forget my passcode?
Yesterday, you let me get all the way to work in business casual attire when it was business professional day! I had to drive right back home to put a suit on so I could take to the investment managers.
Your primary function, also my biggest pet peeve, was to go grocery shopping. I don't know about you, but I've been pretty hungry lately due to the lack of edibles in my kitchen. Today I had to eat a rabbit's food!
I cannot fathom your passive aggressive nature of boycotting work. It is unfortunate that our relationship has to end this way, but I think it's for the best. Please do not use my as a reference for your next Person, because I cannot lie.
Sincerely,
Your Imaginary Employer
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