Till Death do us Part

I've never been married. And quite frankly, the thought of being married terrified me. I've never been the girl who is just waiting for her Prince Charming to show up in his Maserati and whisk me away to Paris for a long weekend. No, I'm more of the 'I'll get married when I'm 60 and have the potential to be bored with the single life' type of girl. However, I decided to explore the reasoning behind my attitude a little bit. It's not that I don't think I can be happy with one person my entire life, its the fact that my future husband lives in a world that doesn't take marriage as seriously as I do. In 2012, the divorce rate was at 50%. That means that half of the people in the US don't fully understand what marriage means. So I'm going to explain its meaning. Marriage is a covenant (stronger than a promise) with God. It's not the next step in a relationship with the girl next door. It's not something you do to prove you love someone, just buy them flowers if that's what you're going for. And its definitely not temporary. No matter how many government officials, pieces of paper, or excuses you can come up with, once you get married, there is no getting out of it. I don' believe that marriage is about making yourself or another person happy, true joy only comes from God, not other people or circumstances. I believe that I am single because this is the status that I can bring the most glory to God. When God grows me and my future husband enough and knows that together we can bring Him more glory that we can separately, then and only then will I give into marriage. Luckily, God knows my stubbornness and fears so I believe when the time comes, He'll be fully prepared to beat me over the head with His instructions. I can only hope that my marriage will be accompanied with happiness, love, and at least 900 crazy adventures. I know that God's plan will work itself out in me and until that happens, I'll be here just enjoying the perks of being single!

Next post (before I get off my soapbox completely) on Divorce. Here's a preview:

People can justify their reason's for wanting to break this covenant 1,000 different ways, but according to the Bible, there are only 2 situations in which God will grant you a divorce. 1) Immorality: Matthews 19:9 and 2) Abandonment by an unbeliever: 1 Corinthians 7:15.

More Than a Supporting Role

I got the pleasure of going to Florida for a long weekend, and there is something about being close to the Ocean that makes God seem all the more present.

I decided to read the book of Jonah from the Bible and see how this overwhelming presence of God was translated. It's interesting when the actual story line isn't what hits home in a book. It's not always the main characters, but how the supporting actors can change the entire outcome. I never bought into the whole 'there's no small parts, just small actors' craze, but I will admit the idea is growing on me. The Ninavites, sailors and even the worm add so much flavor to Jonah's story. Without the context of others, he would just be an extremist, spastically running around countries waiting for destruction. With the addition of each character, a new understanding of Jonah's true character appears as I got to watch his story unfold. And the most amazing part was to see his interaction with God and how he became a completely changed man when he was following God's plan to a tee.

The thing that really got to me was seeing God's relentless compassion and hope in people. God told Jonah he would destroy this entire city unless they turned from their wickedness. I can compare this to when 9-11 happened. It was like America was Nineveh and we had an imamate threat of danger. Nothing motivates people to find God like the fear of losing their life. All God needed to see was a little change and He became overwhelmingly hopeful for His people. It is hard for me to imagine not only forgiving someone who has been slandering me, back stabbing me, and totally discounting my worth as a human being but also deciding to love and cherish that person as if they were going to be my best friend or family member. God is truly amazing and it blows me away every time I read about his unconditional compassion and forgiveness and hope in people.

Compare to Equalize

Its interesting to me how people are always looking for a way to get rich quick that doesn't involve a lot of effort. It's not the fact people want money that puzzles me, I can understand the desire to live in riches. It's the idea that people are so incredibly lazy and would rather be given a hand out than roll up their sleeves and get a little dirt on their hands. I know most people will blame the media for putting the idea of luxury in our minds, or the government who tends to blame the wealthy, but I think it really is just how our society works. We live in a world of comparisons. It's a constant battle of who is better than who, the richest, the most connected, the most well known. And now thanks to cell phones, twitter and Zuckerberg, we've been forced live in the competition with no escape. I can't simply hide in my house and escape the constant battle to out-do every other human that I encounter. I'm bombarded with alerts from endless facets on how many people are one-upping me. Don't get me wrong, I'm extremely proud of our success and how well people have progressed, my thought is more on the lines of the continual, relentless nature of the competition between people. I think sometimes we forget that we are all created equal. That no matter how good the world measures you, it will never out you ahead of someone else because we are not judged on works, but simple on the acceptance of forgiveness. Unfortunately, I'm not perfect and cannot say that this reminder alone allows me to never reflect on my short coming, but it does serve as a kind of release from constant comparison. I don't have the solution to societies problems, but I do hear that admitting you have a problem is the first step to recovery.

Financial Minstry: Next Steps

To be perfectly honest, I'm learning my lesson on acting on faith rather than a guarantee. After I decided to go into financial planning, I quickly learned that I was going to have countless opportunities to help people. Not only with organizing their finances, but also help them achieve their dream, fund their goals, and honor God with what they have been blesses with. God and I have had some conversations on how He wants me to go about helping these people, and I had it all planned out. I'd get involved in a church and start volunteering with the financial ministry and hopefully be able to do some one-on-one financial counseling eventually. However, life has not worked out how I planned. Yes, I did get involved in a church and attempt to join the financial ministry, and that is where the hang up has been. I made the assumption that after I got the direction on God's end goal for me, that I could map out the steps I wanted to take to get there rather than listening to God's plan on how He wants me to accomplish this. Since the church that I've gotten involved with doesn't actually have a ministry to help people with their finances, there has been a bit of a wakeup call that my plans don't work as well as God's plans. I've been extremely frustrated with the church for not fitting my plans rather than going back to God and asking for His plan to follow. At church this morning, I finally decided something was going to have to change. It's become clear to me that I am supposed to create financial material for education, presentation, and worksheets as if I was already working with people to sort out their finances in a way that honors God. This command is obviously from God since I would have never dreamed up doing all the work before the people came. However, I'm extremely excited to take the next step in God's plan because, as always, great things always follow obedience. I wanted to warn you all about my realization today because something great it about to happen, and I want you all to be aware that God is on the move. I'll keep you updated on the progress and maybe even share the material I'm working on as soon as it's finished!

Money Doctor

Money is one of those dirty topics of conversation that makes people extremely uncomfortable. After working just a few months, I've realized that financial planners are not like doctors.  If you tell a random stranger you're a doctor, people will be pullin' out their wounds and telling you way to personal details about their physical problems on the spot! Usually it's against social norms to open your mouth and force randoms to get a close up look at your teeth, but if you mention you're a dentist, people forget the concept of personal boundaries and act uncivilized. It's not as easy to get personal financial information out of people. It's like telling them your a dentist and they respond with 'Oh cool, I have some teeth somewhere...' So when people want to know what to do with their money, its a bit of a challenge to give advice if you've never 'seen their teeth.' But as we all know, I'm always up for a challenge, so I'm going to give you the best kept secret about money. The answer to how to have more money:

Self-control. I know this is a strange concept and not a magical stock you thought I'd give you to invest in, but it is what actually works. If you have enough self control to spend less money than you make, you'll end each month with extra money, guaranteed. And extra money isn't like a gift card with limitation, its good for everything! But keep in mind, if you spend your extra money, then the concept doesn't work. It is a vicious cycle.

Now I get this concept doesn't seem to match my doctor theme. People don't see how many pills they can get prescribed and then just line them up and watch them sit on the table. No, people take the pills they need. Just like you are going to spend the money you need. Don't overdose.

12 month goals

I know it’s been awhile since I’ve updated you all on the adventure that is my life. I apologize for leaving you hanging in the suspense. Unfortunately, things have gotten a bit routine. I say unfortunately because I am a big fan of change and challenges. If I could live in that room with the changing stair cases that Harry Potter gets to walk up daily, I’d be ecstatic. So to catch you all up to speed, studying for the CFP exam is overtaking my life. I eat, sleep, and breathe that exam and I’m not exaggerating. And because no one really wants to hear about that, I have been at a loss for words that will keep you on the edge of your seat.

I’ve come to the conclusion that I need to learn to balance things in life. I tend to be an extremist. Like if someone were to ask me to make them a pie, I’d #1 be surprised because this person would have to be a stranger to request that I bake for them and #2 practice making pies for like 37 hours straight until I finally figured out how to do it. I don’t know whether this is a good thing or not, but I do know that one day I will have a lot of skills. Trying to figure out how to balance things has been a struggle because I just want to do everything, try everything and learn everything. Now I haven’t totally written off the idea that that is an attainable goal, but I have almost accepted that I need pick and choose certain things. So I’ve set some goals for myself so that I don’t get too stuck in a rut and miss out on all the fun things in life. Over the next 12 months I will (in priority order):

1)      Pass the CFP exam

2)      Get my concealed handgun license

3)      Create an app

4)      Get my commercial driver’s license (just to be prepared)

5)      Write an e-book

6)      Pass the series 7 exam

7)      Pass the AFC exam

Don’t ask me how I plan to balance these things yet, because that it the part I haven’t figured out yet. I mean those are only 7 goals, and I’ve given myself 12 months, so how much balance could they possibly take? Maybe this makes me look like an underachiever, but trust me, more things will come up. I’ll keep you updated on new adventures and goals I accomplish as they come!

Love Languages

Maybe because I'm surrounded by a ton of singles in their 20's, or because this past weekend was Mother's Day, or because I may finally be starting to grow up. No matter the reason, I've been hearing about this concept of love languages several times and finally decided to do something about it. Naturally, I raced to my best friend, Google, to get his input on what this whole thing is about. This trust worthy friend defines love languages as 'the ninth album by R&B/Soul crooner Teddy Pendergrass.' Yes, Google never lets me down. Anyways, there are five main ways that people recognize the show of love. This doesn't just apply to a boyfriend/girlfriend, but to family and friends and people in general. Knowing which actions portray the most show of love helps you to understand how to receive and show love at its full potential. Here are the five languages: words of affirmation, quality time, receiving  gifts, acts of service, and physical touch. Some of you love birds can automatically pick out your top one or two. For me, I was convinced I didn't have a love language because I'm not really a mushy gushy kind of person. Thankfully, there is an online quiz to help you understand your love language: http://www.5lovelanguages.com/ 
My top two were receiving gifts and acts of service. Interesting to me, because I tend to be somewhat of a minimalist (with the exception of my weakness for necklaces and shoes). But the more I think about it, I can start to see how that is actually true. However, its reassuring to understand how I perceive love in my friendships and it's also kind of fun to guess what my friends love languages are. Challenge: do something to express each of the five languages to one person and see which they respond the best to. Be prepared to be known as the ultimate friend by everyone you know.