The Interview

No matter what stage of life you're in, an interview is always involved. Although this may not always be a formal interview, the passing of judgments from a 'superior' to and 'inferior' is almost inevitable. Within the first 10 seconds of meeting a new person, there are certain categories that we automatically throw that person into in our minds. This may be simply identifying them as friendly, good-looking, or annoying. But once that first impression stereotype is put into place, it is extremely difficult to reintroduce yourself to the same person twice. Now put this in the context of searching for a job and the pressure is on. Employers want to hire someone who can not only do a good job, but someone they can stand to be around 40 hours a week. Because of the competive job market, landing you next big career takes more than a stellar resume. I recently interviewed students for an internship and got  taste of what the other side of the desk looks like. Although this was a quick turn around from interviewee to interviewer, it gave me a new perspective on the entire interview process. I'm sure its different for every job, but asking questions to read into a persons answers can be exhausting. It about presentation, being comfortable with yourself, a formal friendship with a twist of sales. My advice: talk a lot, do your research, take notes, and relax.

Its a whole new conversation

I've always heard that if you want to be taken seriously, then you should dress like it. I found out first hand that is true! Now that this professional stage of life has taken over, it's like I get approached in a totally different manor. 

For example, I went to Florida this past week for a business trip. Sitting in the airport, I had all my business stuff and was trying to be proactive and read important new articles just incase someone important asked me about current events. Now this is not what strangers normally see when they first meet me. However, because I was asked to upgrade from my 'free t-shirts and yoga pants just to enforce that I had no upcoming professional engagements' look, adults are suddenly treating me like I have joined their pack. I am not longer the college kid executives judge or wish they could be to relive the glory days. I may even to venture to say that I am their peer or equal. But back to the airport, I sat next to two gentlemen who were traveling for the national guard. Naturally, I want to hear all about the things they get to do and the cool toys they get to play with. So after becoming totally jealous of their passport stamps and thankful they are willing to do all that for people like me, the conversation turned toward me. I'm use to people asking where I'm going to school or what friends I'm going to visit because I'm much younger than the average business person. I mean the day I graduated from college, a lady asked me what I was planning to do after high school (still trying to take it as a complement rather than an statement of immaturity). Obviously I look like I'm still 18. These guys asked me about my business trip, who I was going to meet with, what industry I was in. They never mentioned school. Instead of asking me about classes, I was asked about my family. Was I married? Did I have kids? Did I want to see all their kids and new born grandkids? Now this may be a normal occurrence for some people, but no stranger has ever showed me their family pictures until recently. Every person I sat next to would whip out their phone and scroll through memory lane as I watch cute babies and random faces pause in front of me. Don't get me wrong, I love seeing a joy of people as they get to brag about the new family additions they are getting, but I was so taken back by people's willingness to share their lives with me, I couldn't do much else but exaggerate my excitement and egg on the slideshows. 

Now I still feel like I am playing dress-up everyday when I get ready to head off to my office. It is going to take me a long time for the fact that I am a adult to set in. But I think it's the little reminders, like airport conversations, that will slowly encourage me to accept my new reality. Let the adventure continue. 

Do what you love

Every person handles extreme life changes differently. They can either be overflowing with joy because of the new opportunities and great advances they have made, or they can be burdened by fear of what’s to come and depressed because of all the changing details. Now I’m not here to judge people who don’t like handling big life changes because I totally understand the mentality. I tend to shut down when big decisions I have never made before present themselves. However, it is not what happened in your initial reactions that determines the outcome, but what step you take after the shock wears off.

One of the biggest decisions I ever made was picking what I wanted to do with my life after graduation. And let me tell you, I was acting like a fish out of water with the flailing around and hyperventilating. There was so much pressure to be at the right firm, the right city, the right career. It’s like I thought one bad decision would cause the world to tip right over in space and then people would start walking on their hands. Let me make this clear, nothing I can do will cause the world to fall over. Although sometimes I like to think I have a lot of power and control, reality always hits and I don’t.

From my self-induced traumatic decision-making experience, I learned a few tricks that calmed the anxiety. I asked myself one questions. What would I do with my life if money were no object? Everything is too centered on gaining power, which comes from gaining money and influence that this kind of stopped my train of thought and made me take a different approach. I examined my motives, what drives me to do things, my desires, what sets my goals, and my happiness, what brings me the most joy. Warning, if you have no desire to gain happiness in life, you should probably just stop reading now. I want to do something that I am going to love doing. There is no way that I can excel in an area if I absolutely hate every part of it. It’s better to have a short life doing what you love than a long life doing what you hate. If you need an example, brace yourself for a look into how my brain works.

Brain: What would I do with my life if money were no object?
Christy: I would help people enjoy their life and embrace happiness
Brain: How are you going to do that?
Christy: I am going to prevent stress to increase happiness
Brain: What stresses people?
Christy: Marriage and money
Brain: So what will cure this stress?
Christy: Well, since 55% of people who get married end up getting divorced, and the main reason for divorce is money issues, I am going to help people with their money in order to save their marriage.
Brain: Someone’s over ambitious…

Now obviously I know I am only one person. I know that I cannot possibly change the entire world’s population to be a happier people. I know that I can’t fix every marriage. However, I also know that if I can just help one person, then I have fulfilled my goal. I am not dreaming of changing the world, that’s God’s job. But if I can simply do what I enjoy doing, start accomplishing my dreams, and helping one person at a time, then I know there is absolutely no way the world will remain unchanged. Basically, God is going to change the world (I have no doubt), and God gave me very specific gifts and talents, and I think that if I start using my talents, then the world will change.

Now your dreams may be a tad smaller in scale to mine, or they could be way bigger, either way, doing what you love is the only way to excel in the real world. If you are not passionate about what you are doing, you will burn out very quickly and the people working with you will experience a taste of the flames. So for everyone’s sake, figure out what you want to do and then do it!

Will you be my friend?

I think the biggest question people ask is how do you make friends after college? We are no longer surrounded by people our age, bombarded with eligible soul mates, or forced to interact with strangers. It's like socializing has become totally optional and a bit of an up keep. I am starting to understand why people want to get married right out of college and avoid any self-discovery that my come with solitude. But why be tied down when this is your first chance to break free? I remember the moment my parent left me at college, sitting in my dorm room all alone, and I realized that I could do whatever I wanted yet I had absolutely nothing to do. A similar moment occurred again when I moved after college. With freedom come a lot of boring.
So naturally, I began plotting my attack on society and how I would lure these new people into my snare of friendship. Following the trends of TV and popular movies, I was lead to believe that just by walking into a coffee shop or taking any mode of public transportation a friend would magically appear. Reality check: TV is not real life. Random strangers won't magically strike up a conversation with you (unless you look like a celebrity or give them a dollar). This is a moment when practicing hobbies really pays off. Common interests are key in meeting new friends.
Church has proven to be the best place to meet people after college. Since it is in a classroom type setting and sometimes broken up by life stages (college, 20's, 30's, 40's, etc.), it's like friends are being handed to you on a silver platter and all you have to do it grab one. Taking a class is another good way to find people who want to be your friend. Toastmasters forced you to get out of your comfort zone and talk in public. Zumba or Pilates is more active and you can meet fitness gurus who can motivate you into an entirely new body. Go out and meet your neighbors. You never know when you'll be living next door to the creator of match.com or the event planner with free tickets to everything. There are always the more interesting methods like stalking, going to a bar alone, handcuffing yourself to a stranger, or throwing rocks at people until someone decides to chase you down.
Although making friends in 'the real world' is not as simple and effortless as it was in college. I think its a growing experience and helps build self confidence by continually putting yourself out there and trying new things. Ask yourself what you and your best friend would be doing right now and then go do it, because your new best friend is probably there waiting to meet you.

Relocating can be a MOVING experience

After college, its almost inevitable to move into a different home, city, or even state. And in my opinion, its a good first step into a new stage in life. So you've graduated and now what, you basically have three options when it comes to a place to live. 1) move back in with mom and dad 2) keep living in your college apartment with the party roommates 3) find a new place to start life. I chose the third options, and it was a good one. I moved 5 hours away from home, for my job, and it was a process. Fortunately, the week before I moved, my sister moved about 12 hours away so I got to use her as a guinea pig trial run for moving techniques. With this first move, we only took a small car and a small SUV, so organization was key. Everything you own must fit like a puzzle piece to get it all packed. Unloading everything reminded me of the parable in the Bible about the five loaves and two fish because that stuff just kept multiplying. I never believed that those cars could hold enough stuff to fill her entire apartment, but to my surprise, it turned out perfect. My move was a different story because all my stuff definitely would not fit in a small car. My dad and I unloaded all my furniture, drug it up three flights of stairs, and moved it several times to get it just how I wanted it. Then we went to the store where I bought my mattress from because I somehow forgot to mention that I would want to get it delivered so we had to pick it up and then move it in ourselves. Let me tell you, watching me and my dad juggle a giant queen size mattress and box springs up three flights of stairs, around tight corners AND in the rain was quite a sight. But from all the moving events, I learned a few things that I thought could be helpful to future movers.

1) Don't buy all new things because then it won't feel like your home.
2) Be creative with decorating, (ie: I made a headboard out of my old vinyl records).

3) Work out a lot before moving to gain strength to lift lots of heavy things.
4) Reusable grocery bags are easier to move than boxes.

5) Anything larger than a couch should be delivered. If you're moving higher than the second floor, anything larger that you personally should be delivered.
6) Movers are handy and do a fantastic job, but it saves a lot of money doing it yourself. Plus it's a good experience and memory.
7) Put paper/styrofoam plates between all your dishes as extra cushions so nothing gets broken.
8) Label EVERYTHING! even if it says miscellaneous, at least you know where to put it.
9) Be sure to bring a case of water or stop at the store before you start unloading.
10) Take everyone that helped you out to dinner as a thank you.

Roommates

I've lived with a few roommates, and I would say half of them where good. However, my most recent roommate experience turned me off from sharing an apartment. I lived in Arlington this past summer with 3 girls that I had never met. I had a crazy idea that since I was moving to a new city where I didn't know anyone, I should live with other people so I would have someone to call an ambulance if I suddenly discovered I was highly allergic to olives. Unfortunately, these roommates would of probably let me die on the kitchen floor if I ever had an allergic reaction. I remember one day I came home from work and one of the girls I lived with stopped to talk to me (a rare occurrence) and informed me about a birthday party she was having for her sister. Naturally I was excited for her and asked about the details. She proceeded to tell me the date and time and their plans, then politely told me that I could just stay in my room while they had people over. Needless to say, these three girls were not my biggest fans. By the end of the summer, I told my friends to hit me the next time I said I want to live with a random roommate. Now that I am getting ready to move again, I was set on living alone to avoid any awkward occurrences or unnecessary drama. That didn't last long... 

I began to pray and ask God to direct me in my living situation and show me very clearly what I was suppose to do. Shortly after, my sweet cousin told me that her really good friend just moved to Fort Worth (where I am moving in 3 days) and that she would be a perfect roommate for me. I met with her and she was nothing like my definition of a roommate. 

Previous roommate definition: n, a person who acts in a manor of impractical or senseless behavior while sharing a living space with another

Now I cannot officially say my definition is completely rewritten since I have not fully moved in with my new roommate, but I have a prediction.

Predicted roommate definition: n, a person who shares a home and acted with respect,  friendliness, and honesty.

For everyone else who hasn't had a successful roommate drop into their lap thanks to God, I've made a pro and con list of living with a roommate after college.
Pro

1. Someone will find you if you spontaneously combust
2. You can always get a second opinion on your outfit
3. You won't have to face robbers alone
4. You have a built in friend/connection to the area your moving to
5. You can split the cost of living

Cons

1. You have to be nice to their friends, pets, and plants
2. You cannot sing at the top of your lungs without anyone hearing you
3. You cannot steal their stuff (because they know where you live)
4. You have to hear about their drama, day, and diet
5. They could leave old cheese sitting around for 18 days

Color me... Professional?

I don't think it has actually hit me that I am done with school and am about to join in the world with professional people. But honestly, why should it? I haven't made any big changes from what I would be doing if I were to be going back to school next semester. There isn't any defining moments or activities that have awakened me into a new reality. So in order to start the process of accepting change and transitioning into a new stage of life, I have decided to update my wardrobe. Unfortunately, old shopping habits are tough to break. I went shopping looking for professional business clothes, rather than fun sweats and casual attire. I came home with neon green and orange blazers, bright fun shoes, and more workout clothes. Even without the ideal results, I think I finally started thinking about the idea of not returning to school. As I shop, I tend to picture myself in the situation that I will be wearing the outfit that I am trying on. So while I kept picturing myself in my office, or in meetings, I began to get more comfortable with the idea that I am about to spend an unnatural amount of time indoors at a desk. Change isn't the end of the world, it just the start of a new beginning. It's almost more exciting than scary to think of all the firsts I am about I experience.